


I Know What You Did Last Summer (4.09)

by ackles_ass_equation



Series: Superghetto [70]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol, Angel Radio, Canon Compliant, Canon Related, Demon Blood, Demonology, Episode: s04e09 I Know What You Did Last Summer, F/M, Flashbacks, Impala, Impala Sex, Possession, Ruby's Knife, Samulet, Screenplay/Script Format, Sex in the Impala, angel lore, stunts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-10 10:19:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7840981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ackles_ass_equation/pseuds/ackles_ass_equation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam, Dean, n' Ruby look fo' Anna whoz ass hears tha voicez of angels. When Ruby seemingly betrays tha brothers n' leaves wit Anna, Sam enlightens Dean on how tha fuck Ruby saved Samz game while Dean was up in Hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. NOW

**INT yo. HOSPITAL - DAY**  
A lil' hoe is chillin up in a hospitizzle bed up in a cold-ass lil contemplatizzle way like she listenin some distant whispering.  
  
**PSYCHOLOGIST**  
Anna, biatch? Do you know where yo ass is, biatch? Yo ass be all up in tha Connor Beverly Behavioral Medicine Center n' shit. [ ANNA looks at her hospitizzlez wristband ] Do you know why you here, biatch? [ ANNA shrugs ] Do you remember what tha fuck you did, biatch? [ ANNA nodz ] Yo ass was hysterical. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Well shiiiit, it took four playas ta restrain you, biatch.  
  
**ANNA**    
I was tryin ta warn dem wild-ass muthafuckas.  
  
**PSYCHOLOGIST**  
Warn who?  
  
**ANNA**  
Everyone. Forget dat shit. Dat shiznit was fuckin wack.  
  
**PSYCHOLOGIST**  
What was you tryin ta warn dem about?  
  
**ANNA**  
Look... I git dat shit. Yo ass be thinkin I be nuts, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. If I was you, I'd be thinkin I was nuts, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. But itz all true.  
  
**PSYCHOLOGIST**  
It aint nuthin but all gravy. Yo ass can tell mah dirty ass. I be here ta listen.  
  
**ANNA**  
Da end... is coming. Da apocalypse.  
  
**PSYCHOLOGIST**  
Da apocalypse. Like up in tha Bizzle?  
  
**ANNA**  
Kind of. I mean, same bottom line. This demon, Lilith, is tryin ta break tha 66 seals ta free Lucifer from Hell. Lucifer... Will brang tha apocalypse. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So... Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Smoke 'em if you gots 'em.  
  
ANNA turns her head n' listens ta a gangbangin' finger-lickin' distant whispering.  
  
**PSYCHOLOGIST**  
Anna?  
  
**ANNA**  
Sorry.  
  
**PSYCHOLOGIST**  
What was you bustin?  
  
**ANNA**  
Nothing. Just listening.  
  
**PSYCHOLOGIST**  
So, you was sayin dat there are, uh, 66 of these seals up in tha ghetto?  
  
**ANNA**  
No. No. There is bout 600 possible seals, n' Lilith only has ta break 66 of them, n' no one knows which 66 she gonna break.  
  
**PSYCHOLOGIST**  
I see.  
  
**ANNA**  
Thatz why itz nearly impossible ta stop her n' shiznit fo' realz. And thatz why tha angels is losing. Thatz why we all gonna take a thugged-out dirt nap.  
  
An hospitizzle attendant entas Annaz room.  
  
**ATTENDANT**  
Time fo' yo' meds, Anna fo' realz. Anna?  
  
ANNA turns round n' looks horrified when she notices tha attendant.  
  
**ATTENDANT**  
Whatz tha matter, dopeie?  
  
**ANNA**  
Yo crazy-ass grill -- what tha fuck happened ta yo' face?  
  
**ATTENDANT**  
I know.  
  
Da ATTENDANTz eyes turn black, revealin he possessed by a thugged-out demon.  
  
**ATTENDANT**  
I be downright kissable. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Shh.  
  
ANNA uses her mind ta push a cold-ass lil chest of drawers against tha ATTENDANT n' knock his ass unconscious. 


	2. ACT ONE

**INT. BAR**  
SAM appears ta be faded n' is playin pool wit a playa from tha bar.  
  
**SAM**  
Brian, come on, dude, just one mo' n' mo' n' mo'. Just -- just break me off a cold-ass lil chizzle ta win it back.  
  
**BRIAN**  
It aint nuthin but yo' chedda.  
  
**DEAN**  
Excuse mah dirty ass. My fuckin brotherz a lil sauced ta be makin bets.  
  
**BRIAN**  
Dude insisted.  
  
**DEAN**  
Yeah yo, but you've already taken, what, two bills off him, biatch? I be just saying.  
  
**SAM**  
Yo, shut tha fuck up, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I be fine.  
  
**DEAN**  
Fuck dat shit, you not fine. Yo ass is faded!  
  
**SAM**  
Letz make it five hundred.  
  
**DEAN**  
Five hundred?  
  
**BRIAN**  
Sure.  
  
SAM puts tha scrilla down on tha pool table.  
  
**BRIAN**  
Five hundred. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo crazy-ass break.  
  
While BRIAN is lookin down, SAM raises his wild lil' fuckin eyebrows at DEAN. For a second there be a no trace of fadedenness. DEAN raises his wild lil' fuckin eyebrows at SAM. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM breaks, sinkin nuff muthafuckin balls, then sees RUBY across tha bar. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.   
  
**SAM**  
Keep tha scrilla.  
  
SAM puts his cue down on tha pool table n' strutts towardz RUBY.  
  
**DEAN**  
Keep tha scrilla, biatch? What --  
  
Afta a moment, DEAN bigs up SAM. 

 **SAM**  
Hey.  
  
**DEAN**  
Well, you gots a shitload of nerve showin up anywhere near mah dirty ass.  
  
**RUBY**  
I just have some info, n' then I be gone.  
  
**SAM**  
What tha fuck iz it?  
  
**RUBY**  
I be hearin all dem whispers.  
  
**DEAN**  
Ooh, pimped out, demon whisperers -- thatz reliable.  
  
**RUBY**  
Girl named Anna Milton escaped from a locked ward yesterday. It make me wanna hollar playa! Da demons seem pretty keen on findin her n' shiznit fo' realz. Apparently, some real heavy hittas turned up fo' tha Easter-egg hunt.  
  
**SAM**  
Why, biatch? Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is she?  
  
**RUBY**  
No idea. But I be thankin dat she blingin, 'cause tha order is ta capture her kickin dat shit, yo. I just figured dat whatever tha deal is, you might wanna find dis hoe before tha demons do.  
  
**SAM**  
Look, maybe we should check it out.  
  
**DEAN**  
Actually, our crazy asses hustlin a cold-ass lil case yo, but props.  
  
**RUBY**  
What case?  
  
**DEAN**  
Uh, we've gots leads, big-ass leads.  
  
**RUBY**  
Soundz dangerous.  
  
**DEAN**  
Yeah, well, it shizzle ain't goose-chasin afta some chick who, fo' all we know, don't even exist, just cuz you say she blingin.  
  
**RUBY**  
I be just deliverin tha news. Yo ass can do whatever you want wit dat shit. Far as I be concerned, I holla'd at you, I be done.  
  
**SAM**  
Wait, wait, wait. This hospitizzle Anna escaped from -- it gots a name?  
  
**EXT. IMPALA-NIGHT**  
DEAN is rollin n' SAM is bustin lyrics on tha phone.  
  
**SAM**  
Can I git a cold-ass lil copy of tha missin peeps report, biatch? Great. Okay. Thanks.  
  
SAM hangs up.  
  
**SAM**  
Well, Anna Miltonz definitely real.  
  
**DEAN**  
Don't mean tha case is real. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack fo' realz. And dis hospitizzlez a three-dizzle drive.  
  
**SAM**  
We've driven further fo' less, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. [ DEAN shakes his head ] Yo ass gots suttin' ta say, say dat shit.  
  
**DEAN**  
Oh, I be sayin it -- dis sucks.  
  
**SAM**  
Yo ass aint pissed we goin afta tha girl. Yo ass is pissed Ruby threw our asses tha tip.  
  
**DEAN**  
Right. 'Cause as far as you concerned, tha hell-bitch is practically crew. Yeah, boy, suttin' major must've happened while I downstairs, 'cause I come back, n' -- n' you BFF wit a thugged-out demon?  
  
**SAM**  
I holla'd at you, Dean, dat freaky freaky biatch helped mah crazy ass go afta Lilith.  
  
**DEAN**  
Well, props fo' tha thumbnail -- real vivid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo ass wanna fill up in a lil detail?  
  
**SAM**  
Sure, Dean, letz trade stories. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Yo ass first yo. How tha fuck was Hell, biatch? Don't spare tha details.  
  
**_Six Months Earlier_**  
  
**EXT. CROSSROAD - NIGHT**  
SAM is buryin a funky-ass box up in a cold-ass lil crossroad ta summon a CROSSROAD DEMON yo. Dude is faded.  
  
**SAM**  
Come on! Where tha hell is yo slick ass?  
  
**CROSSROAD DEMON  
** I was wonderin whether ta come or not. I mean, you blasted one of mah co-workers. Don't take dis tha wack way, Sam yo, but you don't look so hot, dawg. I guess buryin yo' brutha didn't smoke wit you, biatch.  
  
**SAM**  
Well?  
**  
CROSSROAD DEMON  
** Well, letz peep dat special lil knife of yours first.  
  
SAM takes up tha knife n' slams it down on a outdoor table.  
  
**SAM**  
No devilz traps, either n' shit. I aint here ta play games.  
  
**CROSSROAD DEMON  
** Well, let me guess. Yo ass wanna cook up a thugged-out deal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack fo' realz. And 'round n' 'round tha Winchestas go. I be sorry, Sam. Thatz not gonna happen.  
  
SAM stabs tha knife tha fuck into tha CROSSROAD DEMONz hand.  
  
**SAM**  
I don't want ten years. I don't want one year. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. I don't want candy dawwwwg! I wanna trade places wit Dean.  
  
**CROSSROAD DEMON  
** No.  
  
**SAM**  
Just take me biaaatch! It aint nuthin but a gangbangin' fair trade biaatch!  
  
**CROSSROAD DEMON  
** No!  
  
**SAM**  
Why not, biatch? Lilith wants me dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Just let Dean go, n' dat thugged-out biiiatch can have mah dirty ass.  
  
**CROSSROAD DEMON**  
Don't you understand, Sam, biatch? It aint nuthin but not bout yo' ass. Deanz up in Hell, right where we want his muthafuckin ass. We've gots every last muthafuckin thang exactly tha way we want dat shit. Yo ass wanna bust a cap up in me son, biatch? Go ahead. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I've made peace wit mah lord.  
  
**EXT. IMPALA - NIGHT**  
Back ta present  
  
**INT yo. HOSPITAL - DAY**  
  
**PSYCHOLOGIST  
** [ outta sign ] Of course I wanna help however I can.  
  
**SAM**  
Now, tha orderly has no recollection of Annaz escape?  
  
**PSYCHOLOGIST**  
Apparently, she knocked his ass unconscious. Da blow caused some amnesia yo. Dude don't even remember comin tha fuck into her room.  
  
**DEAN**  
Thatz a hell of a right hook ta knock up a muthafucka thatz gots 80 poundz on her muthafuckin ass.  
  
**PSYCHOLOGIST**  
We be thinkin she may have planned this, waited behind tha door.  
  
**SAM**  
Right. Uh, you mentioned Annaz illnizz was recent.  
  
**PSYCHOLOGIST**  
Two months ago, dat biiiiatch was happy, well-adjusted, journalizzle major, fuckin shitloadz of playaz -- Bright future.  
  
**DEAN**  
So, what tha fuck happened -- she just... flipped?  
  
**PSYCHOLOGIST**  
Well, thatz tha fuck up of schizophrenia. Within weeks, Anna was overtaken by delusions.  
  
**SAM**  
What kind of delusions?  
  
**PSYCHOLOGIST**  
Bitch thought demons was everywhere, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. [ Gives a sketch book ta SAM ]  
  
**DEAN**  
Interesting.  
  
**PSYCHOLOGIST**  
It aint nuthin but not uncommon fo' our patients ta believe dat monstas is real.  
  
**DEAN**  
Well, dat -- thatz just batty.  
  
SAM turns tha pages n' they peep some meaningful sketches n' tha text 'Raisin of tha Witnesses' n' up in tha next page 'Samhain tha next seal is broken'.  
  
**DEAN**  
Thatz Revelations.  
  
**PSYCHOLOGIST**  
Since when do tha Book of Revelations have jack-o'-lanterns?  
  
**DEAN**  
It aint nuthin but a, uh, itz a lil-known translation.  
  
**PSYCHOLOGIST**  
Well, Annaz daddy was a cold-ass lil church deacon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. When da hoe became ill, her paranoia took on religious overtones. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch was convinced tha devil was bout ta rise up n' end tha ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I hope you find her n' shit. It aint nuthin but fucked up fo' her ta be up there ridin' solo n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do.  
  
EXT. MILTON HOME - DAY  
DEAN knocks on tha front door.  
  
**DEAN**  
Maybe they not home.  
  
**SAM**  
Both rides up in tha driveway.  
  
DEAN tries tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. It aint nuthin but unlocked n' they enta tha house.  
  
INT. MILTON HOME - DAY  
  
**DEAN**  
Mista Muthafuckin fo' realz. And Mrs. Milton?  
  
**SAM**  
We from tha sheriffz department. Us playas just wanted ta ask you a cold-ass lil couple thangs.  
  
There is two dead bodies lyin up in tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Their throats done been cut.


	3. ACT TWO

**INT. MILTON HOME - DAY**  
SAM checks some powder on tha floor near tha dead bodies.  
  
**SAM**  
Sulfur. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Da demons beat our asses here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Whatever tha deal is wit dis Anna hoe --  
  
**DEAN**  
Yeah, they want her n' shit. They're not screwin around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! All right, so, I be "Girl, Interrupted," [ DEAN picks up some addressed envelopes ] n' I know tha score of tha apocalypse, just busted outta tha nut-box... Possibly rockin superpowers, by tha way. Where do I go?  
  
SAM looks at crew photographs n' picks one up.  
  
**SAM**  
Yo, you gots dem sketches from Annaz notebook?  
  
**DEAN**  
Yeah.  
  
**SAM**  
Let me peep 'em. Peep dis out. [ SAM picks up a thugged-out drawin of a stained-glass window ]  
  
**DEAN**  
Bitch was drawin tha window of her church.  
  
**SAM**  
Over n' over n' shit. If you was religious, scared, n' had demons on yo' ass, where would you git all up in feel safe?  
  
**EXT. CHURCH - DAY**  
Da Impala is parked up in front of tha church. Through a window, two figures can be peeped goin upstairs.  
  
**INT. CHURCH'S ATTIC - DAY**  
SAM n' DEAN enta tha attic wit they glocks drawn.  
  
**SAM**  
Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. [ SAM points wit his wild lil' freakadelic glock towardz a thug hidin ] Anna, biatch? [ They put away they glocks ] We not gonna hurt you, biatch. Our thugged-out asses here ta help yo. Hoes call me Sam. This is mah brother, Dean.  
  
**ANNA**  
Sam, biatch? Not Sam Winchester?  
  
**SAM**  
Uh, yeah.  
  
**ANNA**  
And you Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da Dean?  
  
**DEAN**  
Well, yeah. Da Dean, I guess.  
  
**ANNA**  
It aint nuthin but straight-up you, biatch. Oh, mah god. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da angels rap bout you, biatch. Yo ass was up in Hell yo, but Castiel pulled you out, n' a shitload of dem be thinkin you can help save our asses fo' realz. And a shitload of dem don't like you at all. They rap bout you all tha time lately. I feel like I know you, biatch.  
  
**DEAN**  
So, you rap ta angels?  
  
**ANNA**  
Oh, no. Fuck dat shit, no way. Um, they probably don't even know I exist. I just kind of... overhear dem wild-ass muthafuckas.  
  
**SAM**  
Yo ass overhear them?  
  
**ANNA**  
Yeah, they talk, n' sometimes I just... hear dem up in mah head.  
  
**DEAN**  
Like... right now?  
  
**ANNA**  
Not right dis second yo, but all muthafuckin day. It make me wanna hollar playa! And I can't shut dem out, there be all kindsa nuff of dem wild-ass muthafuckas.  
  
**DEAN**  
So, they lock you up wit a cold-ass lil case of tha crazies when straight-up you was just... tunin up in ta angel radio?  
  
**ANNA**  
Yes yes y'all. Nuff props, biatch.  
  
**SAM**  
Anna, when did tha voices start, biatch? Do you remember?  
  
**ANNA**  
I can rap exactly -- September 18th.  
  
**DEAN**  
Da dizzle I gots outta Hell.  
  
**ANNA**  
First lyrics I heard, clear as a funky-ass bell -- "Dean Winchesta is saved."  
  
**DEAN**  
What do you think?  
  
**SAM**  
It aint nuthin but above mah pay grade, man.  
  
**DEAN**  
Well, at least now we know why tha demons want you so bad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! They git a hold of you, they can hear every last muthafuckin thang tha other sidez cooking. Yo ass is 1-900-angel.  
  
**ANNA**  
Yo, um, do you know -- is mah muthafathas all gravy, biatch? I -- I didn't bounce back ta tha doggy den. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I was afraid.  
  
RUBY entas tha fuck into tha attic up in a rush.  
  
**RUBY**  
Yo ass gots tha girl. Good, letz go.  
  
**ANNA**  
Her grill biaatch!  
  
**SAM**  
It aint nuthin but all gravy. Dat hoe here ta help.  
  
**DEAN**  
Yeah, don't be all kindsa sure.  
  
**RUBY**  
We gotta hurry.  
  
**DEAN**  
Why?  
  
**RUBY**  
Because a thugged-out demonz comin -- big-timer n' shit. We can fight later, Dean.  
  
**DEAN**  
Well, thatz pretty convenient -- showin up right when we find tha hoe wit some bigwig on yo' tail?  
  
**RUBY**  
I didn't brang his ass here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Yo ass done did.  
  
**DEAN**  
What?  
  
**RUBY**  
Dude followed you from tha girlz house. We gots ta go now, nahmeean?  
  
**SAM**  
Dean.  
  
SAM points ta a statue thatz bleedin from tha eyes.  
  
**RUBY**  
It aint nuthin but too late. Dat punk here.  
  
SAM takes ANNA by tha arm n' hides her up in a cold-ass lil closet.  
  
**SAM**  
Okay. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Stay up in there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Don't move.  
  
**ANNA**  
Okay.  
  
SAM takes up a gangbangin' flask of holy water.  
  
**RUBY**  
Fuck dat shit, Sam, you gots ta pull his ass right away.  
  
**DEAN**  
Whoa, hold on a sec.  
  
**RUBY**  
Nowz not tha time ta bellyache bout Sam goin darkside yo. Dude do his cold-ass thang, he exorcises dat demon, or we take a thugged-out dirt nap.  
  
SAM puts tha flask away again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da demon entas n' SAM tries ta exorcise his ass yo, but it don't work.  
  
**ALASTAIR**  
That tickles. Yo ass aint gots tha juice ta take me on, Sam.  
  
ALASTAIR throws SAM downstairs. DEAN attacks his ass wit RUBYz knife yo, but ALASTAIR wins they fight.  
  
**ALASTAIR**  
Wuz crackalackin' again, Dean.  
  
ANNA screams as RUBY pulls her from tha closet.  
  
**ALASTAIR**  
Come on, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Don't you recognize me son, biatch? Oh, I forgot -- I be bustin a pediatrician. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. But we was so close... up in Hell.  
  
**DEAN**  
Alastair.  
  
SAM stabs ALASTAIR wit RUBYz knife.  
  
**ALASTAIR**  
Yo ass is gonna gotta try a whole lot harder than that, son.  
  
SAM grabs DEAN n' they peep a big-ass stained-glass window fo' realz. As ALASTAIR pulls up tha knife, SAM n' DEAN jump all up in tha window.  
  
**INT. MOTEL ROOM**  
SAM is sewin a cold-ass lil cut up in his fuckin left arm while DEAN is up in tha bathroom.  
  
**DEAN**  
Is you almost done?  
  
**SAM**  
I be goin as fast as I can.  
  
**DEAN**  
Good, 'cause you know I gots a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dislocated shoulder over here.  
  
DEAN picks up a whiskey forty n' dranks from dat shit.  
  
**SAM**  
Yeah. I be bout ta pop it back when I be finished.  
  
**SAM**  
Gimme all dis bullshit.  
  
SAM gestures fo' tha forty n' pours whiskey over his wound.  
  
**DEAN**  
So, you lost tha magic knife, huh?  
  
**SAM**  
Yeah, savin yo' ass. Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck tha hell was dat demon?  
  
**DEAN**  
No one good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! We gots ta find Anna.  
  
**SAM**  
Rubyz gots her n' shit. I be shizzle she aiiight fo' realz. All right. Come on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. On three. One...  
  
SAM forces DEANz shoulder back tha fuck into place.  
  
**DEAN**  
Yo ass shizzle bout Ruby, biatch? 'Cause I be thinkin itz just as likely she used our asses ta find radio hoe n' then brought dat demon up in ta bust a cap up in us.  
  
**SAM**  
Fuck dat shit, dat dunkadelic hoe took Anna ta keep her safe.  
  
**DEAN**  
Yeah. Well, why aint dat thugged-out biiiatch called ta tell our asses where she is?  
  
**SAM**  
Because dat demon is probably watchin our asses up in dis biatch, waitin ta follow our asses right back ta Anna again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Thatz why he let our asses go.  
  
**DEAN**  
Yo ass call dis lettin our asses go?  
  
**SAM**  
Yeah, I do. Look, cappin' our asses would've been no problem ta dat thang. Thatz why, fo' now, our laid-back asses just gots ta lay low n' wait fo' Ruby ta hollar at our asses.  
  
**DEAN**  
Howz she gonna do that, biatch? [ pause ] Why do you trust her so much?  
  
**SAM**  
I holla'd at you, biatch.  
  
**DEAN**  
Yo ass gots ta do betta than dis shit. Yo, n' I aint tryin ta pick a gangbangin' fight here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. I mean, I straight-up wanna understand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! But I need ta know mo' n' mo' n' mo'. I mean, I deserve ta know more.  
  
**SAM**  
Because... her big-ass booty saved mah game.  
  
**_Six Months Earlier_**  
  
**INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT**  
SAM is faded, n' afta he entas tha room a playa n' a dem hoes battle his muthafuckin ass. Da biatch takes RUBYz knife.  
  
**WOMAN**  
Thanks fo' keepin dis warm fo' me, Sam.  
  
**SAM**  
Ruby.  
  
**RUBY**  
It aint nuthin but sick ta be back. Where I was, even fo' Hell, dat shiznit was nasty. I guess I straight-up pissed Lilith off. Imagine mah relief when she gave me one last chizzle ta take it topside fo' realz. And all I had ta do was find you n' bust a cap up in you, biatch.  
  
**SAM**  
Fine. Go ahead hommie! Do dat shit.  
  
RUBY stabs tha other demon instead of SAM.  
  
**RUBY**  
Grab yo' keys. We gots ta bounce tha fuck out. Now!


	4. ACT THREE

**_Six Months Earlier_**  
  
**INT. IMPALA - NIGHT**  
  
**RUBY**  
Yo ass know what tha fuck soundz good, biatch? French fries. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! I be starving. I just escaped Hell. I deserve a treat. Yo ass know, a "fuck you" would be sick.  
  
**SAM**  
Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck axed fo' yo' help?  
  
**RUBY**  
Yo ass have no clue what tha fuck I've been all up in cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce. When Lilith gets pissed, she gets creative. Yo ass wanna hear bout tha cornerz of Hell I've seen, Sam?  
  
**SAM**  
Fuck dat shit, I don't.  
  
**RUBY**  
And tha thangs I had ta do ta convince her I was sorry, biatch? That I could be trusted?  
  
**SAM**  
Well, this'll definitely git you a gangbangin' fat Chrizzle bonus.  
  
**RUBY**  
Straight-up funky. I be a gangbangin' fugitive... For you, Sam. I took all of dis risk ta git back ta you, so, yeah, I deserve a thugged-out damn "fuck you, biatch."  
  
**SAM**  
Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck axed you ta save me son?  
  
**RUBY**  
I be just tryin ta help.  
  
**SAM**  
Yo ass betta help me save Dean?  
  
**RUBY**  
No. Nothang I know of is bangin enough ta do all dis bullshit.  
  
SAM stops tha hoopty by tha roadside.  
  
**SAM**  
Then I have no use fo' you, biatch.  
  
**RUBY**  
What?  
  
**SAM**  
Git out.  
  
**RUBY**  
Sam  
  
**SAM**  
Whose body is you riding, Ruby?  
  
**RUBY**  
What do you care, biatch? You've never axed mah crazy ass dat before.  
  
**SAM**  
I be askin now, nahmeean?  
  
**RUBY**  
Some secretary.  
  
**SAM**  
Let her go.  
  
**RUBY**  
Sam...  
  
**SAM**  
Or I bust you right back ta Hell.  
  
**INT yo. HOSPITAL ROOM - NIGHT**  
A biatch lies up in coma on a hospitizzle bed wit tha name "Doe, Jane" on dat shit.  
  
**DOCTOR**  
All right, pull dat shit.  
  
Da machine begins ta beep as tha biatch dies yo, but her big-ass booty sits up as her ass is possessed.  
  
**RUBY**  
Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck do I gotta bust a cap up in ta git some French fries round here?  
  
**INT fo' realz. ABANDONED HOUSE - DAY**  
SAM is cleanin a gun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Someone knocks on tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM grabs a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shotgun n' opens tha door, revealin RUBY possessin tha coma girl. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch holdz up a piece of paper.  
  
**RUBY**  
Proof. This body is 100% hoodly conscious. I recycle fo' realz. Al Gore would be proud.  
  
**SAM**  
Yo ass grabbed a cold-ass lil coma patient?  
  
**RUBY**  
Yo ass didn't want me ta take a funky-ass body wit one of mah thugs up in it, n' I made shizzle dat tha spirit was gone fo' realz. Apartment was empty. Yo ass happy?  
  
**SAM**  
Why is you here?  
  
**RUBY**  
I can't brang Dean back. But I can git you suttin' else dat you want.  
  
**SAM**  
And, uh... whatz that?  
  
**RUBY**  
Lilith.  
  
**SAM**  
Yo ass want me ta use mah psycho whatever.  
  
**RUBY**  
Look, I know dat it spooks you --  
  
**SAM**  
Skip tha speech. I be ready. Letz go.  
  
**RUBY**  
Slow down there, cowboy.  
  
**SAM**  
Just tell me what tha fuck I gotta do.  
  
**RUBY**  
Look, Lilith is one freaky biiiatch. When I was up in tha Pit, there was talk. Dat hoe cookin up suttin' big-ass -- apocalyptic big.  
  
**SAM**  
So letz bust a cap up in her muthafuckin ass.  
  
**RUBY**  
Yo ass wanna go up in there n' half-ass it like before, biatch? Our thugged-out asses have tha time ta git it right. Letz git it right.  
  
**SAM**  
Okay. What do you want from me son?  
  
**RUBY**  
Well, a lil patience... n' sobriety. Promise me that... n' I'ma teach you every last muthafuckin thang I know.  
  
**INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT**  
We is back ta tha present.  
  
**DEAN**  
So, biatch? What'd dat dunkadelic hoe teach yo slick ass?  
  
**SAM**  
Well, tha straight-up original gangsta thang I hustled... I be a cold-ass lil crappy hustla.  
  
**INT fo' realz. ABANDONED HOUSE - DAY**  
SAM is tryin ta exorcise a thugged-out demon tied ta a cold-ass lil chair up in a thugged-out devilz trap yo, but can't. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Some black smoke comes outta tha demonz grill yo, but then it goes back in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM holdz his head up in pain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. As tha demon begins ta laugh, RUBY kills his ass wit her knife.  
  
**RUBY**  
Not funky. Just give it time, Sam. It'll git better.  
  
**SAM**  
What, biatch? I need mo' practice?  
  
**RUBY**  
I aint poppin' off bout pullin demons. I know losin Dean was --  
  
**SAM**  
Yo dawwwwg! I don't wanna rap bout dat shit. Yo ass know what, biatch? Where do you git off slappin me wit dat greeting-card, time-heals crap, biatch? What tha hell do you know?  
  
**RUBY**  
I used ta be human. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. And I still remember what tha fuck it feels like ta lose one of mah thugs. I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit.  
  
RUBY puts a hand on SAMz shoulder n' shit.   
  
**SAM**  
Uhn-huh. Don't. I can't.  
  
**RUBY**  
Sam, you not ridin' solo.  
  
RUBY kisses SAM yo. Dude standz up n' strutts away from her n' shit.   
  
**SAM**  
What is you bustin?  
  
**RUBY**  
Sam, itz all gravy hommie!  
  
**SAM**  
Fuck dat shit, dat be anythang but aiiight hommie!  
  
**RUBY**  
Whatz wrong?  
  
**SAM**  
Whatz wrong, biatch? Where do I start?  
  
**RUBY**  
Is it cuz of tha body, biatch? Because I holla'd at you -- itz all me inside of here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. There is no one else fo' realz. And itz sick inside dis body, Sam. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Soft n' warm.  
  
**SAM**  
What is you bustin?  
  
**RUBY**  
Isn't it 'cause you straight-up scared ta go there wit a thugged-out demon, biatch? Because itz wack n' itz shitty n' we shouldn't?  
  
RUBY n' SAM begin ta bust a nut.  
  
**INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT**  
We is back ta tha present.  
  
**DEAN**  
Sam?  
  
**SAM**  
Yeah?  
  
**DEAN**  
Too much shiznit.  
  
**SAM**  
Yo, I holla'd at you I was comin clean.  
  
**DEAN**  
Yeah yo, but now I feel dirty. Okay, well, uh, dome-stabbin imagery aside... Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So far, all you've holla'd at mah crazy ass bout be a manipulatizzle biiiatch who, uh, screwed you, played mind game wit you, n' did every last muthafuckin thang up in tha book ta git you ta go bad.  
  
**SAM**  
Yeah, well, there be a mo' ta tha story.  
  
**DEAN**  
Just... skip tha nudity, please.  
  
**SAM**  
Pretty soon after... that, um... I put together some signs... Omens.  
  
**DEAN**  
Sayin what?  
  
**SAM**  
Lilith was up in town. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. And I wanted ta strike her first.  
  
**_Five Months Earlier_**  
  
**INT fo' realz. ABANDONED HOUSE - DAY**  
  
**RUBY**  
Yo ass aint locked n loaded yet.  
  
**SAM**  
It aint nuthin but now or never.  
  
**RUBY**  
Fuck dat shit, we gots ta wait until you git it right. Yo ass aint been too successful.  
  
**SAM**  
All right, I be bout ta use all dis bullshit.  
  
**RUBY**  
Stop. Yo ass can't just fly up in there reckless, Sam. We need you ta take tha biiiatch out.  
  
**SAM**  
Oh, I be bout ta take her up all right.  
  
**RUBY**  
Yo ass git one shot, n' you dat shit. Yo ass is tha only one whoz ass can do it, Sam. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So if she kills you first...  
  
**SAM**  
What?  
  
**RUBY**  
Yo ass don't wanna survive all dis bullshit.  
  
**SAM**  
Come on.  
  
**RUBY**  
It aint nuthin but a kamikaze attack. Yo ass wanna take a thugged-out dirtnap fightin Lilith.  
  
**SAM**  
Thatz fuckin wack.  
  
**RUBY**  
Fuck dat shit, itz tha real deal, cuz if you bust a cap up in her n' you survive this, then you gotta go on without yo' brutha playa! This aint what tha fuck Dean would've wanted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. This aint what tha fuck da ruffneck took a dirt nap for.  
  
RUBY try ta stop him, gettin up in his way up in front of tha door.  
  
**SAM**  
Git outta mah way.  
  
**RUBY**  
Fuck dat shit, Sam. This is suicizzle biaatch!  
  
SAM puts RUBY aside wit her knife on her throat n' strutts up all up in tha door.


	5. ACT FOUR

**_Five Months Earlier_**  
  
**EXT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SUBURBAN HOUSE - DAY**  
SAM sees a lil hoe up in a house, whoz ass is chillin up in a table full of cakes n' candies.  
  
**INT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SUBURBAN HOUSE - DAY**  
SAM sneaks tha fuck into tha doggy den wit RUBYz knife locked n loaded ta bust a cap up in tha Lilith.  
  
**GIRL**  
Please, I wanna bounce back ta tha doggy den.  
  
Two demons battle SAM from behind n' SAM loses tha knife.  
  
**DEMON**  
Lilith sendz her regrets, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch couldn't make dat shit.  
  
RUBY takes tha knife from tha floor n' kills one of tha demons.  
  
**RUBY**  
Take tha hoe n' run!  
  
Da DEMON beats RUBY n' she loses tha knife.  
  
**DEMON**  
Ruby, you up in so much shit. When we git you down up in tha basement -- tha thangs we gonna do ta you, biatch.  
  
SAM comes back n' exorcises tha DEMON wit his crazy-ass mind.  
  
**RUBY**  
Sam.  
  
**SAM**  
I be aiiight. Thanks.  
  
**INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT**  
We is back ta tha present.  
  
**SAM**  
Ruby came back fo' mah dirty ass. Whatever you gotta say, her big-ass booty saved mah dirty ass. Mo' than that, she gots all up in ta mah dirty ass. What her big-ass booty holla'd ta mah dirty ass... It aint nuthin but what tha fuck you would've holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! If it wasn't fo' her, I wouldn't be here.  
  
**MAID**  
Housekeeping.  
  
**DEAN**  
Not now!  
  
**MAID**  
Sir, I've gots clean towels.  
  
DEAN opens tha door n' tha MAID enters.  
  
**DEAN**  
Couldn't you just leave 'em all up in tha door?  
  
**MAID**  
I be at dis address.  
  
**SAM**  
I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit. What?  
  
**MAID**  
Go now, nahmeean, biatch? Go all up in tha bathroom window, don't stop, don't take yo' car, don't pass go. There is demons up in tha hallway n' up in tha parkin lot.  
  
**SAM**  
Ruby?  
  
**MAID**  
Okay, fo'sho, so I be possessin dis maid fo' a funky-ass bangin' minute. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sue mah dirty ass.  
  
**SAM**  
What bout --  
  
**MAID**  
Coma girl, biatch? Slowly rottin on tha floor back all up in tha cabin wit Anna, so I've gots ta hurry back. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. See you when you git there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Go!  
  
**INT. CABIN - NIGHT**  
  
**RUBY**  
Glad you could make dat shit.  
  
**SAM**  
Yeah, props. Anna, is you aiiight?  
  
**ANNA**  
Yeah. I be thinkin so. Rubyz not like other demons. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch saved mah game.  
  
**DEAN**  
Yeah, I hear her dope ass do dis shit. I guess I... Yo ass know.  
  
**RUBY**  
What?  
  
**DEAN**  
I guess I owe you for... Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sam fo' realz. And I just wanted... you know...  
  
**RUBY**  
Don't strain yo ass.  
  
**DEAN**  
Okay, then. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Is tha moment over, biatch? [ RUBY nodz ] Good, 'cause dat was awkward.  
  
**ANNA**  
Yo, Sam, you be thinkin it'd be safe ta cook up a quick call, just ta tell mah muthafathas I be aiiight, biatch? They must be straight-up freaked.  
  
**SAM**  
Uh...  
  
**ANNA**  
What?  
  
**SAM**  
Anna, um... Yo crazy-ass muthafathas...  
  
**ANNA**  
What bout them?  
  
**SAM**  
Look, I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit.  
  
**ANNA**  
Fuck dat shit, they not...  
  
**SAM**  
Anna, I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit.  
  
**ANNA**  
Why is dis goin' down ta me son?  
  
**SAM**  
I don't give a gangbangin' fuck.  
  
**ANNA**  
They're coming.  
  
**DEAN**  
Back room.  
  
SAM takes ANNA ta tha back room, then comes back.  
  
**RUBY**  
Wherez tha knife?  
  
**DEAN**  
Uh... bout that...   
  
**RUBY**  
Yo ass is kidding.  
  
**DEAN**  
Yo, don't look all up in mah face.  
  
**SAM**  
Thanks all muthafuckin day.  
  
**RUBY**  
Great. Just peachy. Impeccable timing, muthafuckas, straight-up.  
  
Da door rattlez violently n' bursts open. 


	6. ACT FIVE

**INT. CABIN - NIGHT**  
CASTIEL n' URIEL enter.  
  
**DEAN**  
Please tell me you here ta help. We've been havin demon thangs all day.  
  
**URIEL**  
Well, I can peep dis shit. Yo ass wanna explain why you have dat stain up in tha room?  
  
**CASTIEL**  
Our thugged-out asses here fo' Anna.  
  
**DEAN**  
Here fo' her like... here fo' her?  
  
**URIEL**  
Quit rappin'. Give her ta us.  
  
**SAM**  
Is you gonna help her?  
  
**CASTIEL**  
Fuck dat shit, dat freaky freaky biatch has ta take a thugged-out dirt nap.  
  
**_TO BE CONTINUED..._**


End file.
